twas the night before the night before

there’s a chill in the air tonight and one of the neighbors must have had their fireplace going. walking over to the new house for one of our multiple daily visits (really, i highly recommend living right across the street from your construction site if you ever build a new home…while sucky initially, it has been wonderful to go over as much as we want, easy as crossing the street) i got a big whiff of smoke. i’ve learned to not freeze in my tracks anymore, but it was somewhat unsettling to be approaching the new house and smelling that smell. of course that momentary discomfort was erased as soon as we stepped inside. this is a beautiful house and we are overwhelmed every time we step inside. it exceeds our wildest dreams and we comment at least once a day that we can’t believe this is going to be our home someday. we can’t wait. it is filled with the amazing artwork of many fine craftspeople – beginning with kimberly who had the vision, on to kurt who makes it all happen, and even the subs – the guy installing the kitchen cabinets was moved to tears when he asked about our “story”. the humility is crushing.

we’re just a night shy of one year away from it all. tomorrow is christmas eve, and we are going to try and do our usual thing. we’ll go to the 5pm service at bethany, followed by dinner at the local japanese steak house – just as we have done every christmas eve for as long as any of us can remember. just as we did last christmas eve. and afterwards we will come home, put on some christmas music, jack will have his courvoisier and we’ll each get to open one present, just like always.

the new house is not quite ready yet but we are really really close. it been super busy over there the past two weeks with tile guys and flooring guys and cabinet guys and trim guys coming and going. we have heat, and electricity, but no active plumbing and no kitchen appliances probably until next week. despite that, we contemplated hauling sleeping bags over there and spending tomorrow night in our new home.

until we remembered that we no longer have sleeping bags.

but that will not deter us. we have blankets and pillows and so we might just do it. it would be fun, camping out in the new pad. i have wondered what our thoughts will be as we drift off to sleep. i keep coming back to that prayer (i know, so unlike me) that goes “and if i die before i wake…” not that i think anything could or would happen, but the words cross my mind.

i would never want people to think oh poor veek, her last couple of years were so rough. i hope that people would know that i’ve had a life filled with love and laughter. that i have loved and been loved more than most people dream of. that i have been blessed by the love of a great man and have delighted in taking the journey with him. that i have been fortunate to know both the love of a beautiful daughter and the love of a good son and that i have known intuitively how to love them unconditionally because of how i was loved as a child by my own parents. that i have had a strong and close relationship with my brother and lucked into a great relationship with my sister-in-law, and their amazing kids. that i have had the kind of extended family that is a force to be reckoned with - always just a phone call away, no matter if it's been months since you've seen one another or live 1500 miles away. that i have actually had a smooth and comfortable relationship with all of my in-laws, and that while i never had my own sister by blood, i have bonds with a few women that allow me the luxury of imagining what that is like. that i have been privileged to call a great number of people “friend”. that i have been fortunate enough to have seen a fair amount of the world, and have never had to go to bed cold or hungry. that i have had a good run of it. that I’ve had more than my share. and that despite losing everything, i know that i am richer than most.

that is what i would want people to know.