suddenly, the gate to the pool burst open with a bang and a stampede of noisy, dirty, loud, rowdy and rambunctious *boys* came running in, all hollering and shoving, and shooting their super soakers, and nearly sending little aly bum over teakettle.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
like magic
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
full tilt, full time
baze had come over a few days before christmas with something for jack. since they don't officially exchange christmas gifts, baze called it a "housewarming gift" (perhaps a poor choice of term, in hindsight). it was an autographed, framed photo of tedy bruschi. years ago, when we had all gotten our pats jerseys, jack had chosen #54. what a perfect addition to jacko's collection.
when the big ball of flame came two days later, the family room was one of the rooms that was completely consumed. and along with everything else that was lost, was all of jack's memorabilia. if you're not a diehard sports fan, you may not be able to relate to that loss. but it represented a passion jack that had shared his whole life - with anyone who would listen. it provided endless fodder for conversations with his dad and mine, gave him something to pass on to the kids, something to share with his best buddies up in rhode island (that they had shared since childhood), and - on a personal note - a great source of inspiration for jack's gifts over the years. next to his photographic equipment and all of the many many beautiful photos he has taken, i think he'll miss that memorabilia most.
we hadn't yet hung up the new photo in the family room. it had been on the island in the kitchen where jack had unwrapped it. but unfortunately, the kitchen was another room that was completely engulfed. so the new photo had also been lost.
after the smoke had cleared, a few days post fire, baze was helping us sift through the debris as we somewhat futilely continued to look for anything that could be salvaged. the mood was momentarily lifted when baze uncovered this gem in the kitchen:
all that was left of baze's gift to jacko happened to be a fragment of the photo that prominently showed good old #54. of course tedy bruschi knows his own brand of adversity having suffered a stroke followed by heart surgery in early '05 when he was just 31. knowing that bruschi had fought his way back and had made a miraculous return to the field just 8 months later, we stood there amidst the ashes and commented on his spirit in the face of adversity and how tedy was a shining example for us. he was simply unstoppable.
baze, who with the exception of baseball season when he suffers from seasonal insanity, shares jack's new england sports passion. he has spent many many sundays at our house. he gets jack. and he gets how much all that stuff meant to him. so he got to work - but i don't think even baze had a clue about what he was capable of doing for his friend.
this is not just about how wonderful baze is, though that is certainly where this particular story starts. it's also about more people reaching out - people who we have never met.
baze is a member of an online community of patriots fans. over the years he has developed friendships with several of the other members, in particular the community manager - a guy named randy (aka "zip"). zip maintains the patriots fan web site, which has built a community that spans the US. zip is as diehard as they come. he is a veteran tailgater and even earned the official title "patriots fan of the year" in 2001. and zip knows *his* own brand of adversity, having lost his eye sight to a neurological disorder in 2000.
zip is blind, but like tedy he is also unstoppable as recent articles about him can attest (http://wbztv.com/local/blind.hiker.washington.2.1769438.html and http://www.ledgertranscript.com/article/focusing-on-his-abilities).
so baze knows zip (though they've never met) and they share a bond. and zip has, over the years as a #1 fan, gotten friendly with a certain full tilt, full time patriots linebacker (you guessed it, #54).
jack <-> baze <-> zip <-> tedy.
baze had obviously told zip of our situation because one day in february, a package arrived. we all stared at the return address. it was hand written. it said "bruschi".
this is what we found inside:
unstoppable indeed.
thank you, zip and tedy, for the kindness you have shown to people you have never even met and for the role models you continue to be. thank you baze for helping to bring a smile back to jacko's face (after the tears in his eyes). you all make *us* feel unstoppable. tedy's photo is already helping to make our temporary rental house feel like home and we could not imagine a more perfect first memento for our new family room.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
a house becomes a home
i've been riding the emotional rollercoaster for months now and have joked about how i have zero control over my emotions these days - like i don't even try to control it any more and i have come to accept that on occasion i will spontaneously combust, usually at the most inconvenient times. like at work, or while driving down the street, or while talking to an acquaintance. as i have said before, the time when i feel like i should or would break down, when i am with my nearest and dearest, i usually don't. instead i feel a surge of strength or stability or something. i've come to accept this.
i have pretty much always been close to my one and only brother, paul,
arriving on the planet a full two years ahead of me, he really has grown to be the perfect big brother in so many ways. he shoulders a lot, has built a beautiful, model family, and is always without fail there for me. he's always there for everyone, though - not just me. but i know i have a special place as his "little sister". and so his was one of the very first phone calls that i made on christmas morning. i knew my parents were on their way to his house to celebrate the holiday, and i wanted paul to be able to break our news to them as gently as possible. i was afraid that i'd break down as soon as i heard my parents' voices, and that would worry them, and leave them feeling fairly helpless at 1500 miles away.
and so i called my big brother.
it was early, 9am maybe? the smoke was still rising - but they were already up probably hard at work in their kitchen making some amazing tapas and his awesome focaccia like they often do for their guests. i think i asked paul to get my sister in law chris on the phone too. and once i had them both, i started to tell them what had happened - that we were ok, that the house was gone.
we talked about how best to tell my folks - we would wait until they arrived at his house. there was no point in calling them on their cell phone while they were in transit - i was worried that the shock would be too stressful. then he reminded me that "they only turn on their cell phone when they need to call someone" anyway :-) once they arrived at his house, he'd sit them down and tell them that - first and foremost - the four of us were ok, and then the details. we had a plan, and then i would call them later once the dust had settled and i felt more in control of my emotions.
of course our plan fell to pieces as we were standing outside mo and ronnie's at about 11am and my cell phone rang. caller ID told me it was my parents. wow, that was fast. my dad sounded surprised at the sound of my voice. but wait, i said, you called me so how can you be surprised it's me? he told me that he was trying to call my brother, to let them know that he and my mom were running late. somehow he had dialed me instead. knowing they were en route, i quickly debated - do i tell them? or let them get to my brother's house first? i've never been anything but an open book so it took about a nanosecond before i was telling my dad everything. and then my mom got on the phone. i held it together as i shared it all with them.
in the days and weeks after the fire we had many heart to hearts with my brother and sister in law. one january day, jack and i arrived home at the same time and walked in to our rental house together. we were stunned momentarily by what we saw. there, displayed across the kitchen table, were a dozen beautifully framed photos of our family - all ages, all stages. we both wept. we embraced.
aly was there and had unpacked the box when it arrived. she was responsible for the display, which was simultaneously overwhelmingly gut wrenching and amazingly heart warming. a big box had arrived from my brother's family. in it, a photo collection of our lives, delicately and thoughtfully framed and ready for us. photos i had assumed were gone forever. there were more than the framed photos too - generous gift cards for each of the four of us, sweet heartfelt notes, and a lifetime's worth of other photos and videos on CD and DVD. everything paul and chris could pull together, they did.
it's funny how you don't necessarily know the things people notice about your home. when i called to thank them, chris said that she had been thinking of our house and how we always have had a multitude of family photos on the walls - which was really true because i always felt my kids got jipped by living so far away from their extended families. i just never knew anyone noticed. we always made sure to capture moments, vacations, holidays - to have photos of so many cherished family members all around us. after all, 2D is better than no-D.
chris and paul not only knew how devastating the loss of our photos would be for us, but took the time to sift through their own collection and try to recreate ours. in an instant, that one box they sent had transformed a little, temporary rental house into our home.
i had been feeling so uncomfortable in the rental house. this was not my house. these were not my things. i was living with a stranger. and once i had familiar photos to spread around, my perspective seemed to change. instead of feeling like "these are not my things", i saw a kitchen table from rick and theresa, dishes from cathy and dave, a sofa from lori, a fridge from the danielsons, and so much more - the house and its contents became a composite of the goodwill we had received from all of the people who had reached out to us.
and in a moment, a house became a home.